Maybe the better question is, can you stop loving someone willingly? Snyder thinks so, but it takes time. “It can be hard to imagine, in the moment, that your feelings will ever fade,” he says. “You might even not want them to fade. But feelings do change over time. That’s just the nature of things. You’ll change over the months and years, and so will the person you have feelings for. None of us stay the same.”
Take care of yourself—mind, body, and spirit; connect with friends and family; remember your worth; trust that love is out there for you; and of course, come back to this list if/when that person pops up in your mind. When we do these things, we open ourselves up to attract the right person.
“Until we close the door on those relationships with people who chip away at our sense of self-worth,” Page says, “we can never open the door to the new ones, into a new life where we finally do find healthy love.”