12 Steps + What To Avoid


Can you ever go from the friend zone into a relationship?

It’s possible to go from being friends into something more, if both people are romantically interested in each other and open to giving it a try. Lots of married couples started as friends before they realized they had feelings for each other. However, it’s important to respect the other person’s boundaries and give them space if they decide they’re not interested. They may very well change their minds with time, but it need to come from them authentically.

Should you end the friendship after being friend zoned?

You should only remain in the friendship if you genuinely care about this person and intend to be a true friend to them, without ulterior motives or expectations for more. If you’re only going through the motions of being their friend because you’re hoping you can get something out of them later (romance or sex), then that’s not a true friendship—and you should end it. It’s unfair and harmful to let the other person develop trust in you as a friend, only to find out your friendship is conditional, self-serving, or likely to be rescinded if you don’t eventually get what you want.

How do I change her mind about just being friends?

Some people change their minds about being “just” friends with someone after developing comfort, ease, and rapport with them over time, or once they see their friend in a new light because of a new setting, new dynamic, or learning of the friend’s romantic feelings. However, it’s important not to use pressure, deception, or furtive tactics to try to manipulate someone’s feelings or change someone’s mind about you. Honor the trust she’s giving you as her friend, and back out of the situation if you can’t. At the end of the day, you can’t force somebody to be romantically interested in you, and it’s important to respect her boundaries and right to say no.

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