9. Embrace a different kind of dirty talk
Speak from the bedroom heart. “Understand what turns your partner on, then align your words and your nonverbal communication to match that,” suggests Balestrieri. “So if a partner likes a more dominant partner in bed, what language conveys that to her? What tone of voice turns her on when you’re in a dominant mindset?”
10. Let her see you sweat
We’re not talking about a nervous or “it’s boiling hot in here” kind of sweat. This is about an “I put in some serious effort” sweat. Get active. Work out. Haul away the air conditioner. And reap those evolutionary biological benefits, Make sure she sees those beads of sweat before you hop in the shower. “Whenever we see somebody being active, it can create some sort of awareness in our mind that this is a healthy person,” says Balestrieri. And along with the sight of your sweat, “there is a pheromone exchange. When we get sweaty, our bodies breathe in those pheromones differently, and it communicates a more primal connection.”
11. Draw her a bath
A hot bath is famously sexy—even if you’re not in it with her. A woman can feel the most pleasure “when she’s not distracted from outside stressors and present,” says Kerner. “If you can lower her anxiety and stress, you’ll increase her ability to become sexually aroused.” So, draw her a bath, scent it with essential oils or a bath bomb, light some candles, and lay out a towel. It can shift her mindset, calm her down, and open the door to something more.
12. Do a novel activity together
If neither of you has tried ax throwing, pickleball, or the new restaurant in town yet, doing it together can prime you for bonding in sexier ways—especially if you’re in a long-term relationship “when we start to blend into the wallpaper and don’t see each other as vibrantly as we once did,” says Balestrieri. “Novelty allows you to be playful, learn new things, and be amazed by one another, and all of that can create great opportunities for sexual tension and fun.” You can also take a tried-and-true hobby you both love, and “reinvigorate that with a new lens,” she says. “If you love to go camping, get a new tent or a new outdoor blanket. It’s a message that says, ‘I’m thinking of you and our intimate time together.’”