Unwarranted accountability could give an air of superiority not support, so communication is key.
“Remember that just because someone expressed a goal to you, doesn’t mean that they’re asking you how to make it happen,” marriage and family therapist Nina Westbrook, LMFT, tells mbg. “Avoid offering unsolicited advice by giving your partner the space needed to formulate a plan and wait to see whether they request your guidance or support.”
If your partner does request help, ask what that means to them.
“Perhaps they do want gentle reminders, or perhaps they want help in other ways, such as cooking healthy dinners,” says certified Gottman couples therapist, Kimberly Panganiban, LMFT.
Once you’ve established an accountability plan, psychologist Gabrielle Schreyer-Hoffman, Ph.D., recommends doing daily or weekly check-ins. This is a good time to see how your methods of encouragement are making your partner feel, while also discussing any progress, setbacks, or challenges related to their goals.