It’s not just a sweet sentiment: Supposedly, feeling exhilarated with your partner (like when you tiptoe out of your comfort zone) creates a rather physical response in your body. Butterflies, if you will. “With the thrill of roller coasters, for example, our bodies confuse it with sexual attraction,” Zaraska notes.
Research backs it up: One study asked participants at an amusement park roller coaster ride to rate their seatmates’ levels of attractiveness, and found that the attractiveness ratings for both males and females were higher among those exiting the ride. Another paper uncovers three primary emotion categories for mating and reproduction, one of which is “feelings of exhilaration,” and another older study found that people tend to feel more aroused after scary experiences. “So if you do something that’s causing you fear, you also feel like it’s exciting,” adds Zaraska.
That doesn’t mean you have to go scale a building or bungee jump to feel that sense of thrill—especially in the throes of a pandemic, might we add. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be as simple as exploring a new hobby together, or perhaps embarking on a safe, socially distant road trip. You can also watch a suspenseful, spine-chilling movie to elicit that frightened-but-sort-of-excited response. As long as you’re trying something new that gets your heart pumping, you can elicit that excitement.