Not necessarily. Changing circles usually speak to different needs across our lives. Some people may meet those needs in one phase but not the next, Abrams says. Priorities, values, and even something as simple as location and interests can also change.
It may sound harsh, but quality over quantity does matter in friendships. “Negative friendships increase your stress responses, elevate your blood pressure, increase depression levels, and they even affect how your immune system operates,” Lydia Denworth, science journalist and author of the book Friendship, said during an mbg podcast episode.
And remember, just as you may want to distance from others, others may also want to distance from you. “People do get to choose, and if you feel left behind or left out, use that as an opportunity to talk about the relationship and what you notice,” Abrams says. “You cannot force people to include you in their lives, but you can check to see if there’s anything different that you can do to stay connected.”
Overall, a shrinking social circle can happen naturally throughout life. If you feel satisfied with your smaller friend circle, it’s nothing to be concerned about.
But if you are consciously completely isolating yourself, remember that prioritizing social time with people you care about is important to support both physical and mental health. Neo recommends setting a quota for how much socialization and how much alone time you need. Then make a plan to reach out to the people you want to, she says, and respect the time.
Finding people to confide in, laugh with, and share experiences with is more critical these days than ever.